Updated: 12 May 2018 17:50. By, Melkisedeck Shine.
SIGNS OF AGING
Written by a confident lady …π
After a meeting, I was coming out of a hotel and I was looking for my car keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room, it wasn't there too.
Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car.
My husband has shouted many times for leaving the keys in the ignition.
My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them …….
His theory is the car will be stolen if left at the ignition key slot !
Immediately, I rushed to the parking lot and came to a terrifying conclusion …..
His theory was right. The parking lot was empty π±ππ.
I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, description of the car, place I parked, etc. I equally confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that the car had been stolen.
Then I made the most difficult call of all, to my husband,
I left my keys in the car …. and it has been stolen."
There was a big silence. I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard his voice.
"Idiot", he shouted, "I dropped you at the hotel !"
Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, and happy as well, I said, "Well, then pls come and get me."
He shouted again, "I will, as soon as I convince this policeman, that I have not stolen your car." ππ
Don't laugh alone πππ π ππ
Send to other husbands or wives because ….
So many things go wrong daily, and you can't blame yourself all the times πππ
~~ Shared as received
ππ ππ π
π
ππ
Answer: Multipliers.
ππ ππ π π ππ
Tweet-hearts.
ππ ππ π π ππ
If a girL has
baLance in her ceLL, then she
has a boy friend,
—
If a boy has baLance in his
ceLL, then he has no girL
friend.
ππ ππ π
π
ππ
I love you a ton.
ππ ππ π π ππ
A man received an unknown call..
Girl : hello do you have a gf??
Man : no, who are you darling?
Girl : M ur girl friend Diana, hate u
Again man got a call
Girl : do u have a gf??
Man : yes darling
Girl : m ur wife Alice, hate u
Man : oh sorry honey i didn't recognise u
Girl : m Diana i knew it that u have a wife, Hate u liar…
Man : wtf….. :-P:-D
ππ ππ π
π
ππ
Will you be my Valen-twine?
ππ ππ π π ππ
They use bear-conditioning.
ππ ππ π π ππ
The living room.
ππ ππ π π ππ
Answer: A walk.
ππ ππ π π ππ
Because people are dying to get in.
ππ ππ π π ππ
By hare-plane.
ππ ππ π π ππ
A pair of pants.
ππ ππ π π ππ
Answer: A door.
ππ ππ π π ππ
He got 12 months.
ππ ππ π π ππ
πOther short jokes;-π
The scientific death of Jesus Christ
THE (SCIENTIFIC) DEATH OF JESUS
For the next 60 seconds, set aside whatever
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Interesting story for new year
Ezra and Thomas joined a company together a few months after their graduation from university.
After a few years of work, their Manager promoted Ezra to a position of Senior Sales Manager, but Thomas remained in his entry level Junior Sales Officer position.
Thomas developed a sense of jealousy and disgruntlement, but continued working anyway.
One day Thomas felt that he could not work with Ezra anymore.
He wrote his resignation letter, but before he submitted it to the Manager, he complained that Management did not value hard working staff, but only promoted only the favoured!
The Manager knew that Ezra worked very hard for the years he had spent at the company; even harder than Thomas and therefore he deserved the promotion.
So in order to help Thomas to realize this, the Manager gave Thomas a task.
βGo and find out if anyone is selling water melons in town?β
Thomas returned and said, "yes there is someone!"
The Manager asked, "how much per kg?"
Thomas drove back to town to ask and then returned to inform the Manager; "they are 13.50 per kg!"
The Manager told Thomas,
"I will give Ezra the same task that I gave you. Please pay close attention to his response!"
So the Manager said to Ezra, in the presence of Thomas;
βGo and find out if anyone is selling water melons in town?β
Ezra went to find out and on his return he said:
"Manager, there is only one person selling water melons in the whole town.
The cost is 49.00 each water melon and 32.50 for a half melon.
He sells them at 13.50 per kg when sliced. He has in his stock 93 melons, each one weighing about 7kg.
He has a farm and can supply us with melons for the next 4 months at a rate of 102 melons per day at 27.00 per melon; this includes delivery.
The melons appear fresh and red with good quality, and they taste better than the ones we sold last year.
He has his own slicing machine and is willing to slice for us free of charge.
We need to strike a deal with him before 10am tomorrow and we will be sure of beating last year's profits in melons by 223 000.00.
This will contribute positively to our overall performance as it will add a minimum of 3.78% to our current overall sales target.
I have put this information down in writing and is available on spreadsheet.
Please let me know if you need it as I can send it to you in fifteen minutes."
Thomas was very impressed and realized the difference between himself and Ezra.
He decided not to resign but to learn from Ezra… read more
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