Updated: 13 May 2018 07:03. By, Melkisedeck Shine.
Stop picking on me!
ππ ππ π π ππ
Because he's got little legs.
ππ ππ π π ππ
You quack me up!
ππ ππ π π ππ
A man walking down the streets sees another man with a very big dog. One man says to the other, "Does your dog bite", the man replies "No my dog doesn't" The man pats the dog and has his hand bitten off, "I thought you said your dog didn't bite" said the injured man. "Thats not my dog", replied the other.
ππ ππ π
π
ππ
A woman doesnβt
come home one night. The
next day she tells her
husband that she had slept
over at a girlfriend's house. The husband calls his wife's
10 best friends. None of
them know anything about
it.A man doesnβt come home
one night. The next day he tells his wife that he had
slept over at a friendβs
house. The wife calls her
husband's 10 best men
friends. Eight of them
confirm that he had slept over, and two claim that he
was still there.
ππ ππ π
π
ππ
Write on, good friend!
ππ ππ π π ππ
βYouβre so sharp!β
ππ ππ π π ππ
Long enough to reach the ground.
ππ ππ π π ππ
He was shell-shocked.
ππ ππ π π ππ
A fsh.
ππ ππ π π ππ
Answer: Multipliers.
ππ ππ π π ππ
Hopscotch.
ππ ππ π π ππ
A nervous wreck.
ππ ππ π π ππ
A title wave.
ππ ππ π π ππ
A budgie with a blunt beak.
ππ ππ π π ππ
πOther short jokes;-π
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Ezra and Thomas joined a company together a few months after their graduation from university.
After a few years of work, their Manager promoted Ezra to a position of Senior Sales Manager, but Thomas remained in his entry level Junior Sales Officer position.
Thomas developed a sense of jealousy and disgruntlement, but continued working anyway.
One day Thomas felt that he could not work with Ezra anymore.
He wrote his resignation letter, but before he submitted it to the Manager, he complained that Management did not value hard working staff, but only promoted only the favoured!
The Manager knew that Ezra worked very hard for the years he had spent at the company; even harder than Thomas and therefore he deserved the promotion.
So in order to help Thomas to realize this, the Manager gave Thomas a task.
βGo and find out if anyone is selling water melons in town?β
Thomas returned and said, "yes there is someone!"
The Manager asked, "how much per kg?"
Thomas drove back to town to ask and then returned to inform the Manager; "they are 13.50 per kg!"
The Manager told Thomas,
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So the Manager said to Ezra, in the presence of Thomas;
βGo and find out if anyone is selling water melons in town?β
Ezra went to find out and on his return he said:
"Manager, there is only one person selling water melons in the whole town.
The cost is 49.00 each water melon and 32.50 for a half melon.
He sells them at 13.50 per kg when sliced. He has in his stock 93 melons, each one weighing about 7kg.
He has a farm and can supply us with melons for the next 4 months at a rate of 102 melons per day at 27.00 per melon; this includes delivery.
The melons appear fresh and red with good quality, and they taste better than the ones we sold last year.
He has his own slicing machine and is willing to slice for us free of charge.
We need to strike a deal with him before 10am tomorrow and we will be sure of beating last year's profits in melons by 223 000.00.
This will contribute positively to our overall performance as it will add a minimum of 3.78% to our current overall sales target.
I have put this information down in writing and is available on spreadsheet.
Please let me know if you need it as I can send it to you in fifteen minutes."
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